My husband and I run a small gang. We are the admin team of said gang. Our duties involve sanitation, nutrition, entertainment, travel… and the list goes on. Our wee gang of boys keep us busy. It’s a new catch-word these days isn’t it… busy. Everyone’s busy. And yes, we all really are. But what happens to the team building of the admin team? Well we generally put it to one side to take care of more important matters (see above list). Days then weeks go by without a date. If you’re not paying attention you find months have gone by! Without realising it you might find the admin team aren’t collaborating as well and laughter has diminished…
But it’s not all doom and gloom! There are real reasons why going out on a date together is too difficult to pull off, or maybe when you get out you’re too tired to make the most of this precious 3 hour period. But can we find joy together in other ways?
This season I’ve begun coaching my youngest son’s Rippa Rugby Team. That was an impulsive move thinking that I could do week day trainings and my husband could do the weekend game (which I felt was well out of my ability). All coaches attend a training day CMRFU which meant we both had to go. Not exactly a ‘date’ and I was viewing it like it was going to be just another commitment I had to get through. However, after dropping our kids off we talked in the car on the way, about nothing important, just talked.
And we laughed! A lot!
We went around our training activities ‘together’ and generally had a great time! I certainly wasn’t expecting that. Yet it’s something I look back on as a lovely morning shared together.
Our attitudes with which we approach the things ‘to do’ in our lives can completely alter the experience of them. Once the seasons draw was released, we found two of our kids teams are scheduled at the same time, meaning with knocking knees I had to coach/ref the Sat games now. I’m not proud to admit that it stressed me and when he encouraged me before the game it just fell on deaf ears. He was doing all he could to support me and build me up and I was just determined this was going to be too hard. After the second game, I realised what I was doing – attitude was doing me in – so I talked with him after the game, just debriefing how it had gone. We spent time discussing the rules and working out what I still needed to learn. Again, it was real time spent ‘together’ and unexpectedly, was enjoyable!
As a busy Mum of 3 married to a wonderful man, I do need to remind myself to look for those unexpected moments where we can enjoy each other’s company in the every day. Dates don’t need to be at a restaurant or the movies. Look for the times you can ‘date’ each other in the home, while you’re doing life together. Look to each other in the business and remind yourself you’re choosing to share your life with this person and there is joy to be had with each other when you least expect it!