I love Romance. Flowers, little notes left around for me to find, small inexpensive gifts… The works. He isn’t this kind of man. Don’t get me wrong, he loves me, and is romantic, but not conventionally. And in my earlier days of marriage, it meant I had to change my thinking.
In my observations, our gender kind of secretly expects our significant others to be ‘mind-readers’. We want them to ‘just know’ what we need. We think they should always desire to understand our deepest and best kept secrets. Yet this isn’t how life works.
A relationship works best when two people respect each other enough to be open about their needs, and to ask for them to be met. “What?! What is this craziness?”. Well I heard a guy talk on this whole difference between men and woman. He explains that men are NOT mind-readers. But he goes on to say, that if a man doesn’t want to do something, he ‘usually’ won’t do it. (Now the wine-glasses are clinking…). So, if I ask him to buy me flowers, or take me out to dinner, and he happily does those things, then I need to be mature enough to be really happy about it and feel special. It’s not fair to then be thinking “well, he wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t asked him, therefore this doesn’t count”.
There are many things my husband would like me to do… which just aren’t in me. Ironing his work shirts, for example! 10 years of marriage has gone under the bridge, and having learned this valuable lesson, I am very happy to say that Romance (even schedule and asked for Romance) is alive and well in our marriage!
And guess what? He loves Romance too! When I send flowers to his work, it really makes his day. 😉