Dating for everyone. Are you dating correctly? For those of you who are single, did you know that if done correctly chances are you won’t end up single again.
According to Wikipedia, “Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse”.
Courtship – a period during which a couple develop a romantic relationship.
So Dating consists of a period during which a couple develop a romantic relationship. Then why it is that romance seems to be missing from most of the dates that are carried out today [sic]? In general, when a couple are dating they lack the necessary skills to be creative and romantic in order to bring out the best in each other. Dating is the time to understand and identify each others likes, dislikes, personalities and nuances. By being creative and romantic, the couple can clearly show off their suitability for each other and at the same time have fun and enjoy each others company.
Are you dating? If so, what types of activities do you plan when spending time together? Are you the type to plan a romantic dinner where you bring flowers and chocolates with you to give to the person you are dating? Or are you more creative and romantic and plan activities that neither of you have done before to get you both out of your comfort zones and to gain a better understanding of each other?
If you answered yes to the second question, then I applaud you for going above and beyond the call of duty when planning dates. You are putting in such effort that will reward you long after. You are making time to get to know one another to assess their suitability as your life partner.
If you are already in a relationship and are planning creative and romantic date nights, again I applaud you for making your relationship your number one priority. By being creative and romantic you are showing your partner how much they mean to you and how much you care. If all you are doing is making a booking at a restaurant, then all this shows them is how little time you have to invest in them. Anyone can make a phone call and book a table at a restaurant that you have probably dined at before. It takes time to plan a creative and romantic date and this is going to be more beneficial to you in the long run than a simple phone call will ever be.
If time is something you don’t have much of then there are companies like ours that take all the stress out of planning and organising creative dates and we can give you all the credit for such efforts as well. By using a company like ours, you are not copping out of doing it yourself. You are merely saying that your partner is important, you are time poor and you want to make sure they are happy and you both do something that you can enjoy and appreciate.
“Relationships end too soon because people stop putting the same effort to keep you as they did to win you” (Unknown)
Have you noticed that as a relationship grows over time the effort they put in to make you happy reduces? Imagine having a relationship where you are just as happy throughout it as you were when you first met each other. Imagine a relationship where you feel as though you are in the honeymoon phase every day. That’s where Russell and I are at. We are the first to admit that we still have our differences and our disagreements however we are more in love with each other today than we were yesterday.
We make the effort to put each other first and make our relationship our first priority over the family, the business, studying for a degree, creating two further businesses, jobs outside the home and friends. We make it a priority to support and encourage each other and to do things together that we both enjoy. This time together is vital for a healthy relationship so that when we are stressed and tired we simply come back to the core of why we are together.
Some people on the other hand tend to forget the reason behind their union or why they fell in love with each other in the first place. They believe that once they are committed to each other that they don’t need to keep trying and can relax in the knowledge that their partner is now committed to them so there is no need to court them anymore. This is not the case. In fact, the opposite is true. If you are wanting to stay in the relationship, then you need to put just as much effort into keeping it going as you did in the beginning of it. If not, you may find yourself alone and single again, sooner than you expected.
Do you find commitment an issue the older you get and do you feel that it is unnecessary to be more romantic the older you are? Perhaps there are underlying concerns you have about the amount of effort you put in as opposed to the benefits they produce. Perhaps you have been hurt before and are afraid to put your heart on the line only for it to be hurt again.
Having the courage to go after something you want more than anything else in the world is the best thing you can do for yourself when you’re single. If you are committed to finding a partner then you need to put yourself forward and do the best you can do.
If you need advice and guidance about how to present yourself on the dating scene then please do not hesitate to get in touch. We have held single events previously where men have turned up wearing a t shirt and jeans and this was for a semi-formal dinner. If you are single and looking for love then you need to present yourself accordingly.
Next week I will share with you examples of dating gone wrong and what not to do on a first date. We would love to hear your good or bad first date stories in the comment box below.