Than You RyanMy husband, Ryan and I have been together for nine years now.  This time seems to have flown by, after all doesn’t time fly when you are having fun?  I am married to my best friend, he knows me so well and I think I know him pretty well too.  In these nine years, (in no particular order) we have visited England four times, got engaged and married, bought a house and had three children, phew!  Plus we have supported each other through my Post Natal Depression (PND).

I wanted to write this post to publicly thank Ryan for sticking by me, supporting me, listening to me and remaining relatively calm throughout my many emotional outbursts.  I have often questioned why he is still with me, (in my head) and I have put the question to him.  His answer, ’cause I Love you Stace’.

See, to me Love isn’t just about the happy times, the romance and things you consider to be romantic, flowers, chocolates, candlelight dinners (sure, these things are great) but to me, Love is also about loving someone even when you don’t deserved to be loved and don’t feel loved.  Several times, I have thought about walking out on him.  Saying goodbye to the years we have had together and our family we now have.  PND made me feel I wasn’t good enough for him, that I was a crappy wife and mother.  Why, would this caring, thoughtful, loving man want to be with someone like me?  PND sucks big time, it changes you and makes you feel worthless and not capable of anything.

What is Romance to you?  Do you think of the dinners, the gifts, the gestures or do you think of something else?  I used to think all these things, plus the chocolates and flowers but I have to realise that these things are romantic, but are material gestures and by someone simply saying ‘I love you’ or giving you a hug and asking if you are alright are also signs of romance.  Now, I am a mother and a wife, I do like the material things, the flowers, the dinners, and of course chocolate!  But now, romance to me is when Ryan cooks so I don’t have too, when he tells me that he loves me and listens to me.

The point I am trying to get across is that the romantic gifts and gestures are lovely and nice and most females and males, like these things.  But, most importantly we like to feel loved, supported, listened too and to feel comfortable being ourselves even when we don’t like ourselves very much.  So, Ryan if you read this a HUGE Thank You for being you, you have made my journey through PND a little easier at times and for that I am forever grateful.

Thank You Ryan

All my love,
Stace xx

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