Ask Renee

Dear Renee,

I guess it’s finding time in a new relationship. My husband left seven years ago and went to a new relationship immediately. I had the children which he rarely took so I never had time alone or in recent years with my new partner. His answer to that was to threaten to take the kids permanently when actually I just wanted a weekend alone.  Now the kids are growing up but my partner and I still have only had two weekends alone in almost four years.  How do I find time to have one on one time. .. to have a chat or even… heaven forbid… an argument… alone time or romance time is impossible…oohh I sound a bit miserable but is a real issue.  Adele

Hello Adele

Thank you for being open with your question and yes it is a real issue and you don’t sound miserable, just normal..  There’s a few layers to this question though.  However, I will just answer the question you actually asked.

Who is in your support network that could come and watch the kids while two of you get a few hours together out of the house?    Focus on what you can do.  Maybe make it a special late night romantic dinner or picnic in the lounge room once the kids have gone to bed. Could you both have a day time date together if/when the kids are in school? 

I would also suggest that you and your partner do the 5 Love Languages Quiz and get some clarity around what your love language is.  Then take it a step further, if your primary LL is words of affirmation, then know what those exact words are. Or if it’s physical touch, where and how do you want to be touched.  

I hope this helps and enjoy creating romance and space in your relationship.

Renee

Renee is the leading female expert in Australia in Life after divorce. She has learnt to embrace being single again and how to get happy.   She loves tattoos, cocktails and all things that sparkle.  “I do real, I do honest and sometimes a little cheeky and I speak about the unspoken”.  We are pleased to welcome Renee to our network of guest bloggers where she will answer any relationship based questions you have related to divorce, separation, second and subsequent marriages or dating after divorce.  Email your questions to natasha@RomanticGestures.co.nz and we will pass these on to Renee to answer.  Her responses will then be added to her section on our blog for you to read.  You can find out more about Renee over on her website.  Welcome Renee and thank you for being part of our fabulous team.

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